Our Precious Fraidy Cats

This is un-cool, Obama. Best stay home.

"You have to laugh.

Mr Obama comes to London for the G20 summit with 500 hangers-on including 200 secret service goons and a guy with America's nuclear missile launch codes in his briefcase.

He arrives in Air Force One accompanied by cargo planes bringing an estimated 35 vehicles for the presidential visit including 'The Beast', the president’s armour-plated limousine.

This, the ultimate personal protection commuter vehicle, is fitted with a 5-inch steel plate floor and bodywork made of dual-hardness steel, titanium and ceramics to break up any incoming projectile. The doors are armour-plated and 8 inches thick and the window glass will stop high velocity rounds and a .44 magnum at point-blank range. It is fitted with kevlar-reinforced tyres on steel rims with run-flat ability.

The Obamamobile is also armed with pump-action shotguns, tear gas cannons, night vision cameras and a GPS system. There are oxygen cylinders in the boot and a supply of presidential blood just in case...So heavy is 'The Beast’ that its 6.5-litre diesel engine struggles to drag it from 0 to 60mph in 15 seconds, even slower than my Aunt Bessy's ageing Nissan Micra.

Then there's Marine One, the helicopter that transfers Mr Obama from the airport to the US Ambassador's residence. Marine One never flies alone for security reasons. A number of decoy helicopters also take to the air in order to confuse imaginary terrorists.

Mrs Obama has her own bodyguards, who are part of her eight-strong support team.

The USS Theodore Roosevelt, nicknamed the 'Big Stick’, is also on hand during the summit, cruising off Britain’s shores. The 90,000 ton super-carrier comes with a wing of 90 aircraft including FA18 Super Hornet multi-role fighters and Sea Hawk helicopters."

Let's take a look at some figures who weren't as twitchy to get in front of the people. Remember, Obama is in London, capital of a country with whom the US has a "special" relationship second only to Israel. I guess even with all that fascist security clampdown our fraidy cats can't be too cautious.

Castro. Famous for hours long speeches sans teleprompter and bullet proof shields, at podium long enough to be assassinated many times over.

Chavez. Not too afraid to be out in the open among Venezuelans.

Saddam. Famous for exuberant crowds shooting in the air when he showed up. Notice the rifles in the crowd.