Why I Won't Be Flying Anytime Soon

Long lines, petty regulations, surly goons, cramped seats, shitty food, worn out equipment, what's not to like?

Computers go haywire
"CHICAGO - A computer malfunction at United Airlines halted all departures systemwide for two hours Wednesday, forcing the delay or cancellation of nearly 300 flights, the carrier said."

Make sandwiches, become a terrorist
"DES MOINES - Cecilia Beaman is a 57-year-old grandmother, a principal at Pacific Middle School in Des Moines, and as of Sunday is also a suspected terrorist."

SFO nightmare -- 400 stuck on plane 7 hours
"We sat there three hours before they said anything," said Mark Valenta, a newlywed for whom the flight was to have been the start of a dream honeymoon to Asia. "Then the PA system went down, the lights were going on and off, babies were crying. It was a nightmare."
And it lasted the entire night."

Proliferation of sippy - cup terrorism
"The incident started when Monica, who left the Secret Service to raise a family, was stopped while going through airport security because there was water in her son's sippy cup."

Toilets overflow, shit runs down aisle of trans - Atlantic flight

"I've never felt so offended in all my life. I felt like I had been physically abused and neglected. I was forced to sit next to human excrement for seven hours," said Brock."
update - "A passenger told Seattle television station KING that sewage flowed into the aisles, only one restroom was partially working, and flight attendants kept serving meals but told passengers not to eat much. He called it the worst flight of his life.
Messing, the spokesman for Houston-based Continental, said in a statement, "We deeply regret the serious inconvenience to our customers and are apologizing to them and compensating them for the poor conditions on the flight as well as the diversion and delay."

Have a bag of peanuts and an extra barf bag.