El Iowan Votecounto Corrupto

Ron Paul had to lose by any means necessary. Confusion will reign until he does.

Romney's winning votes go missing after chairman goes to bed

"At 1.15am, with almost every vote counted, Rick Santorum was judged to be narrowly ahead. But the 143 votes of the second precinct of the second ward of Clinton County were nowhere to be seen.

Reports that "a man in a truck" was still driving the missing ballots to a counting station were repeated live on several national television networks, before being denied by Republican officials.

As confusion reigned in campaign headquarters and in television studios, a behind-the-scenes search was underway for Edith Pfeffer, the Clinton Republican chairman who had gone to bed without a phone.

She was woken by Caroline Tallett, a fellow official, who pounded on her windows and rang her front door bell after receiving frantic calls from state officials and candidates' campaign staff.

"I thought, 'What in the world is going on?'" Mrs Pfeffer, 70, said yesterday.

Reached by telephone live on CNN soon afterwards, she was asked whether she could provide the totals.

"Oh... I haven't... God, I added them up," she said to widespread amazement. "I added them up a couple of times. Oh man".

The Stolen Caucus