They Finally Had Enough
New York Swarming With Bedbugs
"Something biblical has been happening in New York. First, the threat of a hurricane – now, a plague of insects. Of course, there have always been rats: folklore has it that in Manhattan, you are never less than a few feet away from a pair of copulating rodents. Cockroaches, too, are everywhere, and refuse to discriminate on the grounds of wealth. When Richard Meier, the celebrated architect, built his glass apartment towers on the Westside Highway, Nicole Kidman and Calvin Klein reportedly had to wait until the cockroaches were evicted before they could move in.
But nothing has grossed out New Yorkers more than this summer's epic infestation of bedbugs. Normally, New Yorkers have the stoicism of Brits during the Blitz, but now pavements have been lined with discarded furniture and mattresses. Luxury department stores and even the Empire State Building were supposed to be infested. Then someone inside Google's headquarters tweeted that employees there were scratching, too.
One Brooklyn resident described being ostracised by her friends once they found out she had them: "You're like a leper," she told a reporter."
Big Apple tapwater swarming with tiny shrimp
"They're 1-2 mm long, transparent, have two sets of antenna, and feast on mosquito larvae."
Gotham fed up with contrived mosque controversy
8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
"NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
With audible murmurs of "This is no way to live," "What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here," and "Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place," all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness."
"Something biblical has been happening in New York. First, the threat of a hurricane – now, a plague of insects. Of course, there have always been rats: folklore has it that in Manhattan, you are never less than a few feet away from a pair of copulating rodents. Cockroaches, too, are everywhere, and refuse to discriminate on the grounds of wealth. When Richard Meier, the celebrated architect, built his glass apartment towers on the Westside Highway, Nicole Kidman and Calvin Klein reportedly had to wait until the cockroaches were evicted before they could move in.
But nothing has grossed out New Yorkers more than this summer's epic infestation of bedbugs. Normally, New Yorkers have the stoicism of Brits during the Blitz, but now pavements have been lined with discarded furniture and mattresses. Luxury department stores and even the Empire State Building were supposed to be infested. Then someone inside Google's headquarters tweeted that employees there were scratching, too.
One Brooklyn resident described being ostracised by her friends once they found out she had them: "You're like a leper," she told a reporter."
Big Apple tapwater swarming with tiny shrimp
"They're 1-2 mm long, transparent, have two sets of antenna, and feast on mosquito larvae."
Gotham fed up with contrived mosque controversy
8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
"NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
With audible murmurs of "This is no way to live," "What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here," and "Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place," all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness."
posted by patootie at 4:49 PM
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