NASA Bombs
I decided not to haul my big scope out and attempt to watch the LCROSS moon impact this morning and it turned out to be the right decision. Even with all the hype, natural phenomena interests me much more, and not this nonsensical excuse for rocket science in the 21st century when NASA can't even do their propaganda right. I won't embed their pathetic video release but If you want to be bored to tears go right ahead.
Part of the spacecraft was supposed to hit crater Cabeus at the south pole with a mighty impact to get at sub surface material which would then be analyzed by instruments in the other part, which would impact too. Predictions included a bright flash and maybe a plume large enough to see from earth. It hit, but apparently with a whimper.
Scientists seem satisfied they hit the damn moon and data will be crunched, but come on NASA, you can do better. You should have faked a gigantic splat. You know we love explosions. Geeky nerds high fiving around a control room won't excite us; we go to NASCAR to see the pileups fer chrissake. We want shock and awe, boys, what, you a bunch of pussies?
Molten lava, flaming debris and even a roaring soundtrack, we don't care about no vacuums!
You guys lost your zip a long time ago and need better PR management, you know? Holy shit, you faked moon landings and this is all we get for 80 mill?
A couple of bright pixels? You kidding me? Forty five freakin years ago you were able to strap a camera on a rocket and got this:
Think what you could've done now - slow mo, explosives, critters running for their lives, Hubble close ups! Hell, make it all up with CGI, we don't care! We bought Apollo and we're buying your phony 'space program' now so fer chrissake make it interesting!
Where's a Stanley Kubrick when you need him.
Part of the spacecraft was supposed to hit crater Cabeus at the south pole with a mighty impact to get at sub surface material which would then be analyzed by instruments in the other part, which would impact too. Predictions included a bright flash and maybe a plume large enough to see from earth. It hit, but apparently with a whimper.
Scientists seem satisfied they hit the damn moon and data will be crunched, but come on NASA, you can do better. You should have faked a gigantic splat. You know we love explosions. Geeky nerds high fiving around a control room won't excite us; we go to NASCAR to see the pileups fer chrissake. We want shock and awe, boys, what, you a bunch of pussies?
Molten lava, flaming debris and even a roaring soundtrack, we don't care about no vacuums!
You guys lost your zip a long time ago and need better PR management, you know? Holy shit, you faked moon landings and this is all we get for 80 mill?
A couple of bright pixels? You kidding me? Forty five freakin years ago you were able to strap a camera on a rocket and got this:
Think what you could've done now - slow mo, explosives, critters running for their lives, Hubble close ups! Hell, make it all up with CGI, we don't care! We bought Apollo and we're buying your phony 'space program' now so fer chrissake make it interesting!
Where's a Stanley Kubrick when you need him.
posted by nolocontendere at 9:01 PM
2 Comments:
They didn't want us to see
Could be, anon.
Might have been a target there.
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