Randy Repugs

Rating the Greatest GOP Sex Scandals of the Past 20 Years

"Give this to Republicans: They know how to conduct sex scandals in style.

Oh sure, Democrats have their sex scandals, but they're not nearly as interesting. For one thing, most Democrats busted in sex scandals aren't the same type of overbearing moral scolds as your average GOP politician. (The one recent exception was former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, whose work shutting down prostitution rings left him open to charges of bald hypocrisy when he was caught rendezvousing with a prostitute himself.)

Additionally, Democratic sex scandals tend to be of the more vanilla nature: affairs with campaign workers and interns are pretty standard fare as far as modern political culture goes, as are visits to high-priced call girls.

The GOP's deviants, on the other hand, have brought a wealth of oddball debaucheries to the table, from failed bathroom-stall hookups to slimy messages sent to underage congressional pages to rumored S&M diaper fantasies. So let's review the past 20 years of Republican sex scandals and rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based on factors such as hypocrisy, legal liability, the damage inflicted upon the perpetrators' careers and overall comedy."