Explains The Term "Wood"

Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months

"BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.
Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck."

"you bastards can't keep me from my girlfriend, Patty O'Furniture"