Movies
I rented the latest installment of Pirates of the Caribbean knowing full well what was in store after having seen the first two. I had no idea though, just what an insult the experience was going to be. Guess optimism had something to do with it but in hindsight why I thought the studio would change their marketing formula, I haven't a clue.
You know, once it's apparent what the purpose of an annoyance like this is, there's really no point in trying to parse it out or discuss it's merits or good points or flaws. This franchise has no other intention but to make money. I have an idea that they had strategy sessions where they dreamed up various gimmicks to toss in the mix. Lots of battles! Whirlpool! Keith Richards! Then a super loud soundtrack was slapped on with plenty of CGI and there, that'll be enough eye candy to satisfy the slack jawed kiddies.
I'm not averse to 'kick back and be entertained' flicks, I just insist that there's a little intelligence come along with them. But strip away all the above confusion that was cobbled together in what the execs knew would wind up being a moneymaker and you're left with exactly nothing. No coherence, no stagecraft, no intelligence and a sense of being insulted. I kept hoping that a movie would show up at some point, it didn't; all it turned out to be was a huge waste of time, and it was one of those experiences where you rationalize hey, I've come this far with it so... Mrs. Lipstick got more done on her quilt-in-progress than during any other picture this year. Hey, that's a good rating system! An inverse proportion indicator of attention immersion - more quilts, worse movie. I hereby give this Pirates 9 out of 10 quilts.
I can't wait to not see Pirates of the Caribbean: the Fountain of Youth.
You know, once it's apparent what the purpose of an annoyance like this is, there's really no point in trying to parse it out or discuss it's merits or good points or flaws. This franchise has no other intention but to make money. I have an idea that they had strategy sessions where they dreamed up various gimmicks to toss in the mix. Lots of battles! Whirlpool! Keith Richards! Then a super loud soundtrack was slapped on with plenty of CGI and there, that'll be enough eye candy to satisfy the slack jawed kiddies.
I'm not averse to 'kick back and be entertained' flicks, I just insist that there's a little intelligence come along with them. But strip away all the above confusion that was cobbled together in what the execs knew would wind up being a moneymaker and you're left with exactly nothing. No coherence, no stagecraft, no intelligence and a sense of being insulted. I kept hoping that a movie would show up at some point, it didn't; all it turned out to be was a huge waste of time, and it was one of those experiences where you rationalize hey, I've come this far with it so... Mrs. Lipstick got more done on her quilt-in-progress than during any other picture this year. Hey, that's a good rating system! An inverse proportion indicator of attention immersion - more quilts, worse movie. I hereby give this Pirates 9 out of 10 quilts.
I can't wait to not see Pirates of the Caribbean: the Fountain of Youth.
posted by nolocontendere at 12:34 AM
3 Comments:
"Hey, that's a good rating system! An inverse proportion indicator of attention immersion - more quilts, worse movie. I hereby give this Pirates 9 out of 10 quilts."
I love it!
I share (shared) your opinion of Pirates 3 in this post, entitled
"Tripe for Dinner"
But I posted a comment to warn you off of Beowulf, even in 3D. Just don't, no matter how tempted you are, Just don't.
[first attempt at doing linked text in a comment -- fingers crossed]
Right on, it worked.
Pirates truly was an execrable waste, and I think I'll steer clear of BW, thanks.
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