Sunday, December 23, 2007

Missionary Lizards

During War on Christmas week when us secularists usually do battle with pre-emptive strikes of baby Jeebus mania, this year seems to have been somewhat of a cease fire. Probably because no one had any books to sell this season. Or perhaps this particular manufactured conflict at Fox had reached saturation and they decided the outrage factor was lacking some punch. In any event it's fairly peaceful between true believers and we, the forces of darkness this season. Just the usual longing for January 1 and the god-save-me-from-your-believers head shakes. The same sappy songs are at the malls and no reports yet of fistfights over "Happy Holidays".

(Although there was a brawl over a "Happy Hanukkah" in New York when a muslim college student jumped into a fight against some skinheads who wanted to beat up some jewish kids for saying that.)

But truly, religionists wouldn't feel so put upon if blind obedience to loony dogma didn't make them look so...loony. Corporatized Christianity is at it's apotheosis of ugly this time of year in it's weird synergy with untrammeled consumerism, and everybody seems to conveniently forget that Jeebus couldn't have been born in December anyway according to religious texts. Flaming hypocrisy doesn't make war loving jeebus freaks very attractive and leaves them open to more than just a little bit of criticism around the time they celebrate the arrival of their god-baby of peace.

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We've had about seven long years of god-talks-to-me craziness at the top of the current political food chain and to my weary eyes it's helped to bring a whole lot of hell rather than peace on earth. Not only that, it's smoothed the way for over the top religious candidates like Mike Huckabee to actually run for the presidency and not be laughed out of the building. God pimping zealotry is making a play for the big time once again and we can't afford to go down that christopath any longer.

I draw the line at creationism, I really do. It's so totally off the wall nuts as it twists and squirms in it's science, what science? pretzel logic that it's a wonder we don't see an epidemic of exploding heads due to out of control cognitive dissonance. One would think that the earth existing for only 6,000 years old would be right up there with, oh, Romney's commitment to american indians actually being jews in disguise, and that only propellerheads would nod in agreement. But no, these are beliefs that possible presidents proudly proclaim presently and really, are they actually capable of wending their way through middle east catastrophes, or will they exacerbate them?

Creationists cheerily address the sticky problem of dinosaurs this way:

"...we call dinosaurs ‘missionary lizards.’ This is because we can show people that the Bible actually explains dinosaurs and makes sense of the evidence we find around the world. In thinking about dinosaurs, one also has to talk about death (after all, dinosaur fossils are dead!) — and thus, the origin of death because of sin. This leads into a discussion of the Gospel."

In other words, just cherry pick through the Book and don't believe in rational thought processes. It's All God's Work, end of any conflicting discussion. And guess what? People will be so amusingly intrigued at these absurd saurian stupidities that they'll come back to see what other crazy junk you got! Yay, ministry accomplished! If Huckabee and millions of true Believers actually think the Flintstones belongs on the History Channel, is it any wonder the rest of us look at nativity scenes as fictional flights of fantasy?

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5 Comments:

Blogger nina said...

i've wondered why the two theories can't co-exist. life form being created by some intelligence, that life form then evolving.

i know this--something in my DNA says i've had an experience living in the sea. i feel it when i'm at the coast.

23/12/07 10:59 AM  
Blogger Bpaul said...

I'm a biology student and I attend Lakotah ceremonies. I, too, am in the "coexistence" camp. I see the work of evolution as completely amazing and beautiful, why can't that, in and of itself, be an expression of divinity.

I don't like the polarizing fundamentalism that I see in so many scientific debates around evolution that amounts to "if you aren't athiest you are an idiot."

There are plenty of brilliant people that aren't atheists.

I don't, however, in any way buy the modern Christian fundamentalist conception of God with a G and a beard and a pointing finger. There are other conceptions out there, however.

23/12/07 12:03 PM  
Blogger nolocontendere said...

You both express exactly how I feel when I look around in my existence - a sense of wonder at an ongoing process of creation that never ceases to amazes me with it's complex diversity. All threatened now with destruction by the blinding flash of nuclear certitude in a punative, scowling cloud dude.

Fundamentalism has devolved to it's cartoonish idiocy to accommodate millions of drooling dullards that desperately need to be told how to live their lives.

23/12/07 5:04 PM  
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