Thanks to TBogg, who thanks topangaonline, we realize just how successful Adam
Following the inspirational words of Californian Adam Gadahn, thousands of Americans have begun immediately converting to Islam--most choosing to convert to the conservative Wahhabist tradition championed by most al-Qaeda activists (or "liberators" as CBS News anchor Fatimah al-Qurik now refers to them).
"At first, I was, like, 'ohmyga-a-ahd, whateverrr'," reports Jihad al-Lohan , also of California, "But then Brother Adam was all, 'We invite all Americans and unbelievers to Islam,' and he is such a hottie, like my first bf, Fez, and I'm so, 'f'real, like'? But it's totally there in that video. And now I'm totally into it, although my hijab needed like drastic alterations, y'know?"
Now-AWOL American Sergeant Hayim bin-Fayed says he understood Gadahn's message immediately. "Used to be these al-Qaeda types would make their videos, y'know, and say infidel this and jihad that and just go on and on about Allah-knows-what. But this Gadahn guy, he talks to us like normal people. Me and my buddies were sitting around our Green Zone barracks watchin Lost when Brother Gadahn's video pops on and we all go, 'He said "straight to hell without passing Go"? Holy sh!t, that's a reference to the Parker Brother's beloved family board game, Monopoly!' It was like a light bulb just went off."